It Takes Time
Most people I know spend their evenings and weekends driving their kids to this practice or that game or the other recital. That is a great way to teach your kids how to play, but it doesn’t leave much time left for work. I think one of the problems with lazy kids today is that we value play more than work. “Becoming an athlete is hard work!” you might argue. Yes it is and being a college athlete myself, I would know! Athletics teaches children to work hard at play, and certainly there is a place for that in their lives, but not to the exclusion of greater pursuits.
I used to think all my years of athletics were a great learning experience, but now I’m beginning to wonder how much I was really learning when I was able to leave high school and college without basic life skills! I didn’t know how to cook or clean. I didn’t have any life long talents like music or art. My priorities are a lot different now than they were then, and that is what I’m trying to pass on to my children. You need to decide if years of athletics and dance classes are really all your children need to get a good start on life. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but chances are that your child is not going to be a professional football player or cheerleader, so if you’re beginning to wonder how these activities will serve your kids when they are adults, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate the emphasis you are putting on them. I think we need a better balance; time for family, time for work, time for education, and a lot less time for play!
In your busy day don’t forget to schedule time for house work. If you’re trying to fit it in last, after everything else you do, then it’s no wonder there is never time for it! In our home we spend several hours every day cleaning together. We do our cleaning after breakfast, when we have the most energy, and save our studies for lazy afternoons, when we would rather sit on the couch and read. On a rare morning, when we have to run somewhere early and we don’t get our cleaning done, the house seems to feel chaotic all day long. It’s a better feeling to get the work done first, and then be able to relax in a peaceful, orderly home, knowing that we have the rest of the day to fill up however we choose. This works in our home because we home school, but you can find a time that works for your own family. Get up early to spend an hour cleaning with the kids before they go to school and spend another hour after school. Make it a daily habit so the kids know what to expect. If you only ask them to clean on Saturdays and when company is coming you will most likely hear a lot of complaining at being so unjustly put to work.
Daily habits help your brain go on autopilot, so you don’t have to think about what you’re doing, you just do it. This applies to your kids too. When their work becomes a daily habit, they will do it without complaint. In the mean time, they will do their best to try your patience, so you have to be more determined to teach them to work than they are to avoid it! Don’t get discouraged and give up on them. Learning takes time!
[tags]kids, housework, schedule time, habits, chores, parenting[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by the author, some rights reserved
8 responses so far ↓
Jen_nifer // Apr 5, 2007 at 6:27 am
I’m loving this series. I have a 16-month-old and am delighted with how much he wants to help out around the house. I’m just hoping it continues as wonderfully as it is now. Here are things he does regularly:
Put ice into our glasses or containers
Help us start the washing machine (put clothes in, push the buttons)
Help us unload the washing machine (remove clothes, put clothes that don’t go in the dryer on the bed for us to hang up)
Help us unload the dishwasher (bottom rack only, mainly pots that go in a bottom drawer)
Dust furniture
Supervise vacuuming and moping
He also went through a phase where he wanted to run the Swiffer Sweeper when we were vacuuming, but he started removing the cloth and we had to take it away from him.
He also loves to use the pot scrubber in the sink/on the kitchen counter, but I’ve had to limit how often he does this activity as he usually gets too wet.
http://byrne.ca/johnthomas/year2/images/ScrubbingSink.jpg
Lara Gallagher // Apr 5, 2007 at 7:18 am
Thanks Jennifer! You are a great Mom to let him help you with so many jobs and you will be rewarded for your efforts with a son that’s a big helper even as he gets older!
My two year old has decided she is the only one allowed to vacuum. She gets it out, plugs it in (its central vac so there’s no electrical outlet) and goes to work. She won’t let me get the spots she missed either because she has to put the vacuum away when she’s done and we’re not allowed to touch it again. I have to sneak it out when she’s asleep to finish the job!
Thanks for the adorable photo!
Calene Van Noy // Apr 5, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Oh Lara - what a breathe of fresh air you are! Amen to your thoughts on athletics vs. life skills. I’ve been trying to figure out my children and their sense of worth in our home. I’m going to try harder and give them chores that really make a contribution. I do think it would make a difference in their happiness and self-worth in the home.
Megin Hatch // Apr 6, 2007 at 5:46 am
I absolutely agree that the balance between responsibility and fun usually leans heavily towards fun. I feel so strongly that a healthy person is one who does attain a balance- without forsaking either activity.
That being said the idea of cleaning alone or as a family for several hours a day makes me want to throw up a little.
I love your daily habit philosophy and I am trying to incorporate more daily habits for each member of our family… especially myself.
Great series, Lara- I look forward to the next installment.
slouching mom // Apr 7, 2007 at 7:22 am
I’m with Megin. That sounds like an awful lot of cleaning, although the rationale behind having the kids clean is spot on.
My five-year-old has attended Montessori since he was three, and the Montessori philosophy meshes so nicely with your thoughts here. Children want to do constructive work. They don’t view it as work. They take great satisfaction in seeing a project through from beginning to end. They appreciate being part of a community and doing their share.
Jennifer sounds as if she is incorporating the Montessori philosophy in a really lovely way in her own home.
Lara Gallagher // Apr 7, 2007 at 8:22 am
Slouching,
We homeschool so we are home together all day every day. Cleaning up after a family full time takes time!
Lara Gallagher // Apr 7, 2007 at 8:24 am
Megin, I’m so glad you are working on habits. My new habits are saving me!
Circus Mom // Apr 8, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Lara,
These posts are great. Thanks so much for them all, they have helped me out so much.
You have been awarded a Thinking Blogger award, check out my blog for the post!
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