Who’s Job Is It?
The following are actual un-retouched quotes that have come directly from my children’s mouths.
“Would you like me to do another load of laundry tonight?â€
“Can I help you with that Mom?â€
“I would rather just do the dishes by myself.â€
“I’ll watch the baby for you while you finish that.â€
“Will you wake us up early so we can get our jobs done before we go to the dentist?â€
Do they sound too good to be true? What would you give to have more help around the house? Are you are wondering, “Where do I start?†No, you can’t adopt my children, but they both tell me they are available for hire!
First of all, I have some questions for you:
Who is doing most of the chores in your home?
Does it seem easier to do them yourself than to battle with your children to lift a finger to help?
Do you hire someone to do the cleaning and the yard work while your children are lying around playing video games or hanging out with friends?
If you don’t teach your children to work, who will?
It is my responsibility to make sure all of my kids are trained to cook and clean and run a household before they leave my home. I had to learn all these things “on the job,†after I got married, and it has not been easy or fun. I’ve been married almost eleven years and I feel like I am just now getting the hang of it. Why not let your children learn these things in their first twenty years, instead of making them wait until they’re older, with a full load of adult responsibilities and worries?!? Why let them spend a life time struggling, when you can teach them everything they need to know while they’re young? Of course there will be room for improvement, and more to learn as they mature, but by then they will already know the value of their labor and the joy of reaping what they sow.
I have a nine and a seven year-old who are hard workers. Not only do they clean up after themselves, but they do real work every day that benefits the family. They clean, they cook, and they take care of their two year-old sister. They didn’t just wake up one day knowing how to do all this. It has taken years for me to learn how to teach, and for them to learn how to work. They might complain at times, and we might have our bad days when I think I’m going to loose my patience, my mind, and maybe even the lives of my two oldest children all before 10:00 a.m., but for the most part, my kids help without complaining, and I know they are proud of the work they do. My daughter says that she is happy to work as long as we let her sing. I say, “Sing Away!!!â€
I heard something a year ago that has become my favorite maxim. *â€If you have older children and you are still cooking and cleaning then you have missed your promotion.†Have you missed your promotion? I’ve raised a lot of questions in this article, but I hope it has made you think about your work standards and the values you are passing on to your children. I am hopeful you will find some answers as I continue this important series.
*Core and Love of Learning: A Recipe for Success
- -Oliver & Rachel DeMille
Photo graciously provided by janusfinder, used under a Creative Commons License.
[tags]clutter, laundry, kids, helping, assistance, home, learning, chores, responsibility[/tags]
12 responses so far ↓
AdventureDad // Mar 15, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I totally agree with your philosophy. If you start including kids early on in household chorse it will become a good habit. My kids are still way too small to be of actual use but I still have the older one help out with chores. He loves to vacuum, clean, mop, cook, and wash the car. He’s only 3 so at the moment his “help” make my chores take twice as long but I’m hoping it will improve with age……
AD
Kimberly VanderHorst // Mar 15, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Fabulous article, Lara! Like Adventure Dad, we have our 2.5 year old helping with chores already. She sets the table and clears it after dinner, wipes up her place at the table with a cloth, helps me dust, etc…And yes, those jobs take twice as long, but we feel strongly we need to teach her a work ethic from a young age.
Thanks for all the great ideas…this is something really important to us as parents and it’s great to have some practical advice.
tanyetta // Mar 15, 2007 at 7:03 pm
that’s the neatest un-organized laundry room i’ve ever seen in my life
i have a 19yr. old and a 2 year old i’m losing the organizing battle
Thea // Mar 15, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Great article, Lara. My kids are still pretty young, too, and I find it a daily struggle for me to LET GO and let them help me! You are absolutely right, just like everything else they have to learn, they need to learn to contribute to the family. Thank you so much!
An Ordinary Mom // Mar 16, 2007 at 1:58 am
I love your philosophy! Teaching kids to work seems like a lost and dying art. Hopefully we can change that.
Thanks for your ideas, I can’t wait for my promotion!
Lara Gallagher // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:08 am
Congratulations if you’re already letting your small children help around the house. You all definitely deserve a promotion when the time comes!
Lara Gallagher // Mar 16, 2007 at 2:09 am
Oh, I knew someone was going to think that was my laundry room! Mine is a lot more organized but not that cute!
Leslie // Aug 19, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Thank you so much for validating my belief and understanding that children can also be productive and contributing members of a household. My partner is one of those folks that is still learning how to care for and manage a household, he is 25. Everyone I confide in about our struggles feeds me these excuses about him being a “typical guy” and that his personality doesn’t suit being cleanly or responsible.
I think someone fell down on the job when he was younger, and now he is stuck between those excuses and truly not knowing what he’s supposed to do.
What happened to the days when you had chores that you had to do before you could go anywhere or do anything else?
My son is only 11 months old, but we still use his natural inclinations to teach him how to help out. He likes to put his toys in boxes, baskets, whatever. So before we leave a room, or the house We play the “Put (insert toy here) In” game. It doesn’t work everytime, but at least he’s learning how to have fun with something he will eventually have to do.
Lara Gallagher // Aug 19, 2007 at 10:39 pm
Leslie,
You are so right. Anyone can learn responsibility if they are taught correctly. The younger a person learns the easier it is so you are doing the right thing with your baby by teaching and making it fun.
Kelli // Aug 20, 2007 at 8:00 am
I want to see a larger picture of that laundry room! What a cute color, and I love the gift wrap station. Anyway, to the topic at hand, I 100% wholeheartedly agree with you. My father was babied his whole life, and my mom fell right into that superwife role - and has done the same with my brother. He is 24 and still living at home, and she still cleans his room when it gets really messy! My husband, on the other hand, helped his mom cook from a very young age, and he cooks dinner as much, if not more, than I do. He also does our laundry 50/5o with me and helps me clean. When we have children, we plan to train them well, not only for themselves (it really builds their self-confidence, I think) but for their future spouses!
just got linked to here // Aug 20, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Where is the link to part 2?
Lara Gallagher // Aug 20, 2007 at 8:19 pm
You can find links to all the articles
here.
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