One of the disadvantages of home schooling is, well, that they’re home all the time and the Siren Song of the Screen is strong. If I’m not especially vigilant, the younger boys can play computer games for a couple of hours while I’m schooling the older boys.
I’ve broken them of the habit of turning on the television when they wake up, so most mornings a visitor to my house would hear wild romping and play for a good hour. Which pleases me no end, except for the danger they pose to my poor house. In fact, they usually have so much fun that it’s difficult to get them to stop for breakfast.
That computer though. It’s a tough one to avoid. They’re so nice and quiet when they’re in front of that screen. The older boys are able to read and calculate without distraction. If I limit the game time, then they’re loudly marching back and forth being distracting. Loudly. Did I mention they’re loud?
After the older boys’ instruction time is done I work with the younger ones. We read stories and do some short activities. By then the older boys have finished their work and want to play on the computer.
Sometime after that, the fun begins. “MooooOOOOOoooommmmmmm! He’s played on the computer all day and I haven’t had a turn!!” “Mommmmm! Is it my turn yet???” or (one of my real favorites) I announce that it’s time to be done on the computer and I hear “But I’ve only played for TEN MINUTES” when it’s really been forty-five. And of course, if your brother is playing on the computer and you’re just sitting in the next chair kibbitzing, well, that doesn’t count as screen time, right? Ha.
I was reading a report on children and video games last night and discovered that a ’super user’ is a child in front of a screen 6 or more hours a week. Sheesh. Give a kid two half-hour turns per day and you are apparently creating a monster. Add in all the time they spend watching each other and I’m in trouble. On top of that, they see me at the computer for a great number of hours during the day. I’m actively reading and writing, not playing video games, but they don’t see that. It just looks like Mom at the computer.
I’m thinking about buying one of those programs that will limit computer time. Seems like an unemotional program shutting them down-and refusing to argue the point-would be easier on everyone.
I try my best to be helpful and supportive in monitoring turns and time, but I can’t always catch who is on what turn, especially when they have random fits of generosity and will let someone else play out the turn on the timer. That of course sets the stage for a new fit when the timer does chime, because someone got extra time and as the mother of twins I am morally obligated to be sure that everything in their lives is measured and meted out with exact equality and fairness. According to their whimsical definition, of course.
It’s enough to make a person beat her head on the wall. Of course, then we’re back to my poor house and all the blows the walls have already taken, so I’m trying to abstain from that to prevent further damage.
So, I’m thinking that some kind of external limitation program might be helpful. Anyone use one? What advantages and disadvantages are there? Any other suggestions for solving the problem?
by AmyL
[tags]kids, children, parents, homeschooling, education, television, attention, behavior, studies, discipline, limitations, society[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by confusedvision, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
4 responses so far ↓
Carol // Nov 23, 2007 at 6:52 am
Before we started homeschooling we had a strict “no electronic” rule on school days. But now computers are an important part of our homeschooling. We’re lucky enough to have 3 computers dedicated to the kids and tons of educational software. The girls type a good portion of their school work and even my preschooler practices typing words on the computer. When work time is finished they can play ’school games’ (all the games we’ve decided have educational value) as long as they’d like. With only 3 computers and 4 kids, we still have to pull out the timer sometimes but they enjoy watching one another and I find that in this way they learn together. For us, limiting what they can do on the computers, rather than how long they’re doing it, has worked out.
On a side note, we have Windows Vista and it’s got parental controls built in that allows you to specify how long or at what time a certain user is allowed to log in. It’s been helpful for us to keep our autistic son from trying to control all 3 computers at once
nan // Nov 24, 2007 at 5:32 am
Ah, media! My favorite topic. We have no TV. We have a laptop computer, but it goes to work with my husband and is only available on rainy days for watching DVDs. We DO have a big DVD library, with fun stuff and educational stuff, but by and large my kids are very deprived, poor things. They do computer classes at school, and use my mum and dad’s when they visit them.
Our “no media” rule has been great so far. The boys are avid readers, do brilliantly at school, and are a storehouse of useless trivia from books they have read. They PLAY! They make stuff up! They have no idea what the fuss is about “transformers”, and would rather have a skateboard for Christmas. I am so glad that we have no TV, no advertising in the house.
So don’t think your child will suffer if they don’t get to use the computer or watch a TV show for the whole week. You will be doing them, and yourself, a favour!
But we ARE getting a computer this Christmas for the boys. We feel they need this, for homework and project help, and for emailing aunties, friends and cousins abroad. Sam is really good at computers, he understands them totally.
BUT I will be strenuously limiting screen time. The computer will be in the kitchen, and the boys will not be “playing” on school days. Only educational and school stuff. I think half an hour is plenty, and not even every day. I hope this works for us, and I will be interested to hear what other moms and dads are doing.
Karen // Dec 10, 2007 at 11:43 am
This is a hard one. Especially when, like you pointed out, as the mom, I am on the computer a lot. It seems different, b/c I am writing, reading, shopping, planning…but when I sit with them and observe what they are getting from the games they are playing online, I realize they are learning a lot too, and are much more actively involved than it may appear to the casual observer.
My son has gained a lot of reading comprehension from the computer. And most of the games are twists on classics, with many good skills to be learned. Logic, spelling, animal identification…some of our favorite sites are starfall.com, nickjr.com games are awesome, pbskids.com games are pretty cool too. Disney games aren’t my favorite, but they got bored with them too after a week or so.
If I choose to limit their screen time, I choose to limit my own as well. It is hard, b/c I so often just want to check a recipe, or search google for something real quick, but it usually ends up with me on their longer, so I write it down and deal with it later and focus on playing board games, doing crafts and reading with my kids. I also purposely plan field trips and library days so that we are out of the house several days of the week long enough that I feel like the down time on other days is fine.
Would you put an external monitor on your own screen time? That shut off after 15-30 minutes, even if you were in the middle of typing something? I wouldn’t. So I won’t to my kids. It would crazy frustrate them, just like it would for me. I put the computers in the same room so we are on it together. I give them plenty of advance notice that their turn is ending (using the clock, we are learning to read clocks from taking turns), and when we are going to need to leave to go somewhere.
Anyway, my thoughts are to try and see the positive in what they gain from it, play the games with them. Or just be there, and have a clock to help them take timed turns and be available to play with and entertain the ones whose turn it isn’t if they want it. Suggest cook books for recipes, craft ideas, books for reading, games for playing…It can be some of the best bonding time between you and your kids.
And those studies about kids and the dangers of the screen? Their entire premise is that there isn’t any data on how it affects them. Well, there isn’t any data on how a lot of things affect kids that they don’t get all alarmist on. Plastics, leads in kids toys, cell phones, the effect of board games on kids…seriously, the experts don’t have parenting all figured out, I’m not worried about their alarmist studies on electronics right now. I think it goes back to a puritan work ethic of if you are sitting you aren’t getting much done. Some jobs are just computer work. Highly successful jobs- designing games, or world communications, ad design, programming, film work is mostly on computers too…Why not focus on the positive aspects of electronics instead? Why are they negative as kids, but positive as adults?
Good luck with your choices.
One website that at first upset me about computers but I’ve found more interesting to think about it as time goes by is http://sandradodd.com/videogames
Using Screen Time To My Advantage | GNMParents // Dec 15, 2008 at 12:10 pm
[…] written about my concerns over screen time in the past. The boys are still as interested in playing computer/video games as ever, although […]
Leave a Comment