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My Response to Stu’s Challenge

January 11th, 2008 by AmyL · 5 Comments

metal rulerStu challenged us to spend a day not correcting our children a while back. Being that I take Stu pretty seriously, I tried it.

Lasted about 4 minutes, give or take.

Part of my difficulties was that I was teaching lessons, and it’s hard to do math without correcting mistakes. The other part was that I’ve gotten pretty critical lately, so I decided I should work on it.

Since the whole correction thing wasn’t going well, I decided to adapt the challenge and try to just say “Yes” as much as I could for a whole day. I’d gotten to the point in life where “No” came out of my mouth for every request they made.

Which is silly really. Why do I say no so much??

I’m happy to report that the yes thing went much better. So much so that I extended my efforts beyond that day and have been trying it since. I’ve got some work to do, but I’m finding that if I stop and ask myself “Why not?” when they make a request, I often don’t have a good answer to that. So I try to find a way to say yes.

My results: boys who are taking more responsibility because they’re getting more trust. I have to spend extra time teaching them new things as I’m saying yes, but then they’re DOING the new things, with increasing pride as a result. For example, (with much trepidation) we said yes to an older boy slicing his own cheddar cheese with a knife(!) recently. He did fine, and got quite a kick out of serving his brothers up some freshly sliced cheese.

If I get tired, it’s easier to say no in the short run, but I’m really not doing anyone any long-term favors. So….yes it is.

Even if that means stepping back while some pretty bizarre science experiments take place. With appropriate supervision and knuckle-biting, of course. :)


by AmyL




[tags]kids, children, parents, parenting, discipline, correction, correcting, abstaining, math, mistakes[/tags]

Photo graciously provided by S@Z, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Tags: Activities · Behavior · Education · Parenting





5 responses so far ↓






  • JeCaThRe // Jan 11, 2008 at 7:19 am

    That is an awesome adaptation. Teaching kids to do things is harder that just doing it ourselves at first. But just think, soon you’ll be teaching them laundry and vacuuming, and you’ll be able to sit back and enjoy a nice cup of tea while they work.

  • Stu Mark // Jan 11, 2008 at 8:55 am

    I love it!

    A really excellent strategy. You’ve given me another way to deal with the kids, especially as I’m the big “NO” parent in the house. So thanks for that.

  • Carl // Jan 11, 2008 at 10:31 am

    This is fabulous! Nicely done.

  • AmyL // Jan 11, 2008 at 11:40 am

    Awww, shucks everybody. Thanks for the compliments. :)

  • Michelle (beartwinsmom) // Jan 11, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    I notice that “no” slips out of my mouth a lot quicker than “yes” does, too. I need to try this challenge, too. :-)

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