I have “me time” on the brain for a few different reasons. I have read several articles in the past week about parents making time for themselves. Like this one and this one. I also had a conversation with a young friend who is struggling a bit with maintaining her identity outside of marriage and motherhood. I also am leaving for a girls overnight in roughly 70 hours (but who’s counting?) I am really in the “lucky” category on this topic:
I go out every single Thursday night with 2 friends.
I have a group of women who get together from time to time to drink a lot of wine and just
hang out. We don’t schedule it regularly, but it happens about once a month in the summer and less frequently when school’s in session.I also walk/run with some women several times a week in the spring and fall.
I know, lucky, right? I think so. Spending time away from my family makes me a better mom and a better wife. Really.
There are alot of reasons that moms need mom’s nights. Here are just a few of mine:
1. Uninterrupted conversations- no one tugging on my shirt, stinking up my air with a poopy diaper, needing a snack, or wanting me to read another Clifford book.
2. Wine instead of whine.
3. Opportunity to share my story. The one that involves pitocin and an emergency c-section and thrush. And then I hear hers.
4. I can enjoy being away without justification. They know I love my kids more than lobster (which is a whole lot, by the way) even when I tell them how happy I am to be out.
5. Again, no justification. They know I love my kids even when I tell them about wanting to chuck them out the window.
6. No sensoring your foul language. I (heart) to swear.
7. Moms get motherhood. They might not always agree with my choices, but they get that it’s really hard and that sometimes we all do or say things that we aren’t proud of.
8. S.U.P.P.O.R.T. Not sure what to do about the whining, bed-wetting, hitting, refusal to eat anything green? I can toss it out there and I’m sure to get some ideas.
9. Laughing until I pee.
For me, it’s about being a friend. It’s about stripping away the day to day have-tos and breathing deeply.
I have so much more to say about this… combating the aloneness of staying home with your kids, making connections with other moms, what to do on a girls night. It will come.
Until then: What does “girls night” mean to you?
Photo courtesy of Katiew via flickr
[tags]parenting, mom, girl’s night out, me time, maintaining independence[/tags]
4 responses so far ↓
AdventureDad // Nov 7, 2006 at 7:45 am
You have some great ideas in your post. And a good husband! I think it’s irrelevant what mothers select to do, the point is to get away from the child. That can mean a workout, a walk in the park, dinner with friends, or computer time.
The problem I see with mothers-away-from-kids is the husbands. They seem to simply not understand that it’s extremely demanding to be home with a child the whole day. Or just half a day. That’s because most fathers have never tried it themselves. Where I live we have tons of paid parental leave and many fathers do stay home. That really helps in giving a father a good perspective on parenthood. I can probably still give my wife better support but it’s a start:-))
AD
Annie // Nov 8, 2006 at 12:55 am
AD,
Your wife is lucky to have you, then!
Yeah, it’s taken a while for my husband to realize that I don’t spend all my time at home watching movies and meeting all my writing deadlines (HA!). He wonders why I need to get out once in a while for sanity time.
Annie
Irene // Jul 21, 2007 at 8:27 am
Hi Megin:
You are a wise woman. I loved your post on the topic of friendship and its relevance to parenting.
I’m writing a book about failed female friendships, which probably are inevitable.
It’s great that you have made time in your hectic life for these important relationships.
My best,
Irene
Irene S. Levine, PhD
Freelance Journalist & Author
http://www.fracturedfriendships.com
Father of 3, Dad to 5 // Oct 26, 2007 at 9:58 pm
I would like to add one thing for those husbands/boyfriends that read this.
If you want some of your own me time, give some to the woman. I fish when I can and it has never been a problem because when the wife wants to go I let her go and whatever is she does. Ya I worry and I call her if she has been gone longer than expected but only to make sure that she isn’t in emergency room. I ask her if she is ok, she says yes, I say I love you and have fun, see you when you get home. It is amazing how much doing this directly results in more personal fun time between the two of us.
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