I’m not married to an extravagant man. Sure, our family has a comfortable lifestyle with a few high priced toys that we enjoy, but overall, he’s quite simple in his needs.
We grew up differently. He comes from a life as an only child who lived comfortably. My family consisted of my mother and sister and a lot of hand-to-mouth.
As a child I dreamed I would marry a wealthy man and wake up to jewelry and cars with bows on them. This, to me, was my idea marital happiness and gift-giving. When I eventually married a man who was quite a bit more subtle than the man in my dreams, I fully admit to being a bit disappointed.
How jaded was I?
After ten years of marriage it turns out that I’m married to an extremely thoughtful man. Who knew? Each and every time he’s given me a gift - and it’s not always on my birthday, in fact, he gives me gifts every day - it’s clear that a whole lot of consideration has gone into it.
If we take even just the last week, you can see that I’m certainly not hard done by at all!
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He has taken the girls to the bus every day this week, because I’ve been hit by sinus pain and a large catering job this weekend.
He bought me a pedometer after I mentioned that I’d like to count my steps running outside versus running on the treadmill.
He bought me Mini-Wheats. My most favourite cereal ever. And he hid them in the pantry so the girls wouldn’t eat them all.
While shopping for a good pair of hunting gloves for himself, he bought me a pair as well. He said “I know they’re not pretty and they’re very bulky, but they’ll keep your hands warm.”
Before he left for hockey on Tuesday night, he tucked me into bed, brought me some Advil and a box of kleenex. When he got back, he tucked the covers back on top of me and gave me a kiss on the head. He told me the next day it was him checking for a fever, because he was worried about me.
I’m slightly embarrassed to have thought he wasn’t thoughtful. No, he’s not extravagant or grandiose. But Thoughtful? Oh yes. He doesn’t buy me necklaces, but I probably wouldn’t wear them. He proposed without a ring, because he wanted me to choose it. He’s never surprised me with a brand new car, but I’d probably complain that the new car smell makes me ill. He makes me coffee, gets me warm socks and fetches me bottles of water at 2am. So much his own happiness and comfort is wrapped up in my own. I can’t think of a better gift. I married much better than I thought I did.
[tags]gifts, love, emotions, marriage, husband, wife, giving [/tags]
Photo courtesy of ChrisB, used under a Creative Commons License.
8 responses so far ↓
Brett Nordquist // Jan 26, 2007 at 7:43 am
I really enjoyed your post. The older I get the more I appreciate the small things my spouse does for me too. I think she’s always done a lot of little things but it’s taken me a few years to notice how much she does for the family that I’ve taken for granted at times.
Annie // Jan 26, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Aw…your spouse is awesome!!!
As they say, “It’s the little things that count.”
Mari // Jan 26, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Hiding the cereal is the most thoughtful! Kids are vultures, aren’t they?!
Megin Hatch // Jan 26, 2007 at 4:22 pm
It’s so good to remember this stuff. It’s so lucky when people do things like this—AND when they recognize and appreciate all of the things their partner does.
Personally, my favorite is the extra hour of sleep on the weekends!
Stu Mark // Jan 26, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Kids are vultures indeed! I feel mixed about this, as there’s a part of me that wants to be a noble person and share all that I have. But those little vultures come and eat all the good stuff in 30 seconds, and I’m left with the stale crackers.
So I hide stuff, on top shelves or even in my office. You do what you have to do to have a chance to actually eat the chocolate that you bought for yourself!
Barb // Jan 27, 2007 at 12:18 am
Chantal,
My husband is the one who had visions of himself being the wealthy husband, lavishing his wife with gifts. Those are not things that I’ve wanted for myself (the big house, the cars, the jewels), yet I can feel my husband’s disappointment on an almost daily basis that this is not the kind of life he has provided - for his family AND for himself.
Your post has made me consciously think of this fact. And I thought that nothing I could do would change his feelings about this. However, you have me thinking… Maybe being more vocal about my gratitude about what he does and who he is will help him to appreciate what we have more.
It will certainly help me to appreciate it more just by being more conscious and more vocal about it. And I believe that it will also draw more things for which to be grateful into our lives.
Thanks!
Alice // Jan 27, 2007 at 5:02 pm
What a great post! What’s great is that you are tuned in. You get that those are amazing gifts just for you. You are grateful for all that is around you. That sense of contentment is a gift in itself.
Kudos to your husband. But I’m sure you give him just as many thoughtful gifts too. =) Enjoy all your wonderful gifts!
Mama22Boys // Feb 1, 2007 at 1:36 am
That sounds exactly like my husband. It’s those little things that I unfortunately overlook too often, but when I remember, they are the most appreciated.
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